Why do I continue to torment myself? I have been or was talking to Carmelo again through text...I spilled my heart to him and he comes back with "I am your partner"....I say no carmelo, a partner to me is a lover, a friend, you know partners in a relationship...he comes back with "hell no, I mean I'm sorry I can't"........I'm like "wow" then he texts me and says I don't want u to get mad either........wtf? How can I not? Now he won't answer me. If there wasn't a fucking vehicle blocking mine in I would fucking drive to his house and talk to him. I don't want to be a raging lunatic but is it soooo hard to have a full fucking conversation with me? I mean really? Nothing pisses me off more than being ignored! It pushes my buttons hard and really enrages me badly! He knows this so for him to not answer his phone or my texts is him purposely pushing me into a rage! I am seriously ready to fucking drive out there and whip his ass! I mean really! The longer I sit here and he doesn't answer me the more pissed off I get!!!! I don't deserve this and I can't handle it right now! Why do I do this to myself every fucking time with him? I wish to God I could have the strength to never contact his stupid punk ass again! UGH!
I just sent the worst texts to him ever! I wished the worst upon him and said some really evil hateful things but I meant every bit of them! I fucking don't care anymore! I hate him with all of my heart right now and I will never reach out to him again! At this point I wish he would die! I never wish shit on people but I fucking HATE him and his rejection and ignoring me! I hate HIM!!!
Sorry he is being such a douche hun... it sounds like he is playing games... like he gives you just enough to make it sound like maybe there is a chance and then squashes it right after.... you deserve to be treated like a queen... not a piece of garbage!
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