I am so surprised that I have been sleeping as much as I have. I just woke up from an hour and a half nap and I'm not even sick....I mean I guess being pregnant makes me more exhausted but I literally laid down and was planning to just rest my eyes but I ended up falling and staying asleep for a bit. I seen Carmelo today as usual and I'm kind of annoyed because it doesn't look like he'll be coming over tomorrow night to ring in the new year with me. I mean I really can't be too mad because he did come and was here all last weekend and of course spent Christmas eve and Christmas day with me and my family but I mean he kept asking what we were doing and said he would probably come over. I don't know...he's said a couple of things that make me suspicious and I don't know if I'm being un-reasonable or if I should be concerned....he asked if I had his pics up and I told him that yeah I did on facebook and on the forum I belong to...he said..."well I don't want to be all over the internet" I wanted to freak out on him but instead I explained to him that only my friends could see my pics and then he asked me if I had made any new friends....okay that was a little weird...I told him that I thought it was odd unless he is seeing or messing around with someone and he's afraid she'll see his pics...he said "yeah" and then laughed and kissed me.....he's the king of trying to get a rise out of me and I'm doing my best to be rational but sometimes I want to let my anger/insecurity come out on him...I told him I didn't appreciate the comments and that it seriously wasn't cool of him to say things like that and if he is indeed doing something I deserve to know the truth so I can move on...he said he wasn't and kissed me and held me and rubbed my belly...he said he was just kidding....he used to do this ALOT but stopped when he realized I wasn't gonna feed into it anymore....I got him used to drama and even for me at times it's weird to be in a calm and drama free relationship and even I tend to want to stir some up sometimes to get a reaction out of him BUT I have been able to identify when I'm feeling that way and pinpoint the source of my insecurity...I've done a damn good job at keeping my feelings and actions in control. I went from wanting to "slit his tires, his throat (not literally), ect" to being sane rational and keeping myself from even getting majorly annoyed at anything involving our relationship and I'm damn proud of how much I've changed. I don't throw it up in his face but I did point it out today that I have totally changed the things that made him uncomfortable and changed the behaviors that I was doing that were pushing him away. He sometimes thinks I really don't love him, that I just want money or am bored or some other reason I'm with him...sometimes he thinks it's just because of the baby that I am trying to be with him. This is for sure through fault of my own however now instead of getting mad I try to let him know how much I appreciate him and love him and want to spend my life with him. I mean I don't want to smother him but I don't want to be cold...I must continue to maintain a healthy balance in between the two but sometimes that's easy said than done.