Oh I am so over life and it's stresses at this point in time. Ugh! I can't believe the burban's tranny went out....we don't have a second vehicle....and Carmelo text me a dumb text saying "LOL?" Okay he needs to be more careful about not sending me texts so obviously meant for someone else because we have only texted a few times in the past long while....I text him early this afternoon asking if he knew where a car was for like 800-1000 bucks, he said he didn't and that was that...he didn't inquire about our son in my belly, didn't ask how I was, didn't give a damn to conversate with me at all. I feel sick inside, sad, and very lonely.
Life is really hard right now...I am grateful beyond belief that my son is healthy and growing great inside of me and still very active but I'm still very very sad that Carmelo and I aren't together anymore. My heart breaks over and over again and no matter how hard I try I just can't get over it. I have left him alone but inside I deal with the torment and sadness on a daily, sometime hourly basis! I just want to be loved by someone I can equally love and respect in return. I wish Oscar would freaking get back here and contact me already or at least call me so we could talk. If he's with his family and not incarcerated in mexico which I'm sure he's not incarcerated I wish he'd find a way to call me. I can't contact his family because his brother was really rude to me for the first time ever in our last text convo. I know he's not healthy for me either but I really do miss him and him being there for me. ugh!
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