Man today has been rough. Well more this evening of feeling extremely hormonal, neglected, and sad! I had an MRI and an EEG (sleep test) today which ran way over so I didn't get to see Carmelo and with his crazy 10 hour days and late shift I barely get time to even talk to him. I love him so much and found myself tripping on him through text but had to apologize because my old insecurities are coming back and making me feel sad and insecure which sucks! 

I realize that I have to keep my emotions in check before I push him away or something. Cami Jo deserves two happy parents and I want to continue to make sure she has a family. The thought of us not being together scares me and that fear even if irrational causes me to act like an ass and accuse him of shit that I know in my heart he's not doing. Time for a reality check and to get my shit together again. I hate feeling so emotional and I hope he ignores the majority of the texts I sent him all but the last one. I know he hasn't read them yet because he is working still but now I feel terrible for sending all that bullshit. I have to get a handle on my damn emotions again because I don't want to blow up on him for my own insecurities like I did last time.