Well his phone is still off so I don't know if he blocked my numbers or if he shut off the phone or if the battery died.......it doesn't matter.....point is that there is no means of communication. I guess  this is for the best of course because I need to leave him alone and move on. I just hope since I only have 15 weeks left of this pregnancy that he doesn't go and change his number or something. He knows I won't go to his home because of his family and I'm not going to chase him down to his job or anything so I just hope this is a coincidence. I sent him one last text......pathetic I know! I've been very weak today and I finally have re-gained control of myself....my final text was simply "carmelo ya ganastes" or "carmelo you win"

I just can't keep doing this...there is nothing "to do" I mean how pathetic can I be when he already told me he lied about cheating on me to push me away because he doesn't love or care about or want to be with me?!?! That should have been enough to make me hang up the phone and regain my self-worth and self-respect. Tomorrow is another day and I will be stronger...I don't have much dignity if any left in this situation so it's time to walk away. I'm scared I will never hear from him again meaning Cami won't have him and that freaking terrifies me and the woman in me is desperately hoping he'd change his mind about "us" but I know realistically that isn't going to happen. I'm scared...I know I can do it on my own with my family but I don't WANT to...I want him with me..okay enough pitying myself..time to suck it up and go to sleep.