Well nothing has changed with Carmelo...it's only been 2 days but my "hopeful" side was hoping that he would realize he'd made a mistake and come back. He called me twice yesterday just to say that he didn't have time to talk. Okay "WTH"?? I didn't contact him in anyway so I didn't expect his phone calls. Today he texted me briefly but it was just something non-important. I'm still hurt but I had my weekly therapy session today and got a lot off my chest.

I ran into my ex's brother in town today and found out some disturbing and sad news. I found out my ex is in jail....the night he called me he actually drove his car drunk and crashed into another vehicle then fled the scene of the accident so he's been in jail since then and will stay there until the case/sentence is complete then he will be deported. He asked his brother to find me but he had no way of finding me until we bumped into each other...all I can do for him (which I already did) was write him a letter and explain that he needs to fill out a visitor's form before his brother or sister can go and visit him. I feel terrible because he doesn't speak english basically at all and he has borderline schizophrenia/severe anxiety. His brother said they took his medicine to the jail so hopefully he's getting it. I feel sad for him but a part of me is relieved that he's in a safe place unable to continue drinking.

Okay enough of that....I am trying to maintain my positive outlook on the situation with Carmelo but all I really want to do is cry and beg him to change his mind. I won't because it wouldn't be him coming back because he wanted to.......nope I must be strong and focus on moving on and letting him go. I'm scared he's gone for good but that is out of my control. This sucks though.....